he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
