Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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