Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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