sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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