shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
