if you like me you must not know who I am
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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