I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
