Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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