My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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