We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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