all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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