Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
do nipples grow back?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
