Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
