not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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