I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
