White coat. Heels.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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