We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
