so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
