i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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