oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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