new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
