Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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