I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
