I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
