I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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