He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize