Cold hands, warm shart.
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
