his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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