Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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