His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
