yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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