We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
