Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
