The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
