I CAN MOONWALK!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
well you can't waste a boner
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
