Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Randomize
