yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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