I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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