there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
