Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize