nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
