Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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