What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Randomize
