sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
