and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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