so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize