drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
