If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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