Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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