and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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