I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
