Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
