at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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