You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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