Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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