she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
