she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
