You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
