"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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