You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
