he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
